|Posted by Ashcwill17 on May 6, 2014 at 5:30 PM||comments (0)|
Totally forgot about the favorite quotes section of my facebook. Must blog.
"I love kids. They're short, highly emotional people who don't know anything. They rely on their creativity and imagination to get by in the world. A world, I might add, filled with giants. Amazing feat."
You are here so God can experience
the world through your eyes, see what you see,
feel what you feel.
Every day he can't wait to see what you'll do, what makes you laugh,
what moves you...
He can't wait.
Every day through you. He falls in love
with the world all over again.
We are his muse.
The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry.”
"I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life"-- That guy that used to be married to Katy Perry in some movie.
Sorry but, some people just walk in the light- I think a classmate said this haha.
"Yo.. Jet now I'm about to get this/ You want this/ but do u really think that u could get this/ at first u dis this, now u wanna kiss this /tell em girls/ too late yah miss this cuz we need a man thats quick swift and clever/ ready at a drop of a dime to do wateva / not tryna front or fake or save face/ cuz Im with dat any time any place
You are a breath taking reflection of Gods love for me
-Madea family Reunion
Ummm yeah, good stuff.
And cant forget my tattoos
Faith is belief in the absence of proof- me
Not all who wander are lost- J. R.R. Tolkien
|Posted by Ashcwill17 on May 6, 2014 at 3:30 PM||comments (0)|
Two weeks left of classes.
I am bittersweet though because I have decided to move back to NYC and finish this degree online.
SF is nice but it isn't for me. I am only going to miss my roommate because I love that girl so dearly.
This summer I will be traveling Europe for 6 weeks for a class and a Italian reunion and then the NYC Summer will commence.
All of this was made possible because I passed my midpoint, Yay!
Midpoint is a presentation of my portfolio and final these ideas to my director. That was chilling enough. I was dreading that day since I first learned what a mdpoint was! But thankfully thats over and all the classes he has required me to take are available online.
Lately I have been applying to as many jobs as possible because I want a full time career. I need to save money. ASAP. I tried for SOOO long to get any job possible in the UK but their visas are AIR TIGHT. They don't want any outsiders coming in. And thats just horrible. I ALMOST considered getting another degree just so I can live there for a bit. SMH I am crazy. I don't even care for London its Scotland that I want. Terrible weather and all.
So my newest idea is to travel the world for a year...or more. Who knows what I will think of next. The only thing that hold me back from traveling for long is money, as usual. Nothing new there. Or else I would be staying in Europe for the entire summer but I digress.
I know after one goes to grad school you would expect them to enter that field but I have a strong feeling that wont be me. And this terrifies me. Straight from high school to college to grad school, never stopping.
I don't want my family to feel that I have wasted all that money in loans to enter another field. My main joys in life are music, movies, traveling, technology, and photography. So I only applied to jobs within those catergries. Sigh, as a Music Production major it is not as if I can just go apply to be a composer at so and so records. I have to network and meet people and get my chance. But I also feel as if I am no where near ready. I need to work on my harmony. Melodies come so easily to me because the violin has always had my heart. I was aware of everyone else in the orchestra but I wasn't fully paying attention them, I was only listening to the strings. Now I understand my strong parts, and I understand my weaknesses. All that I need now is time and official piano lessons.
Music will always be in my direct view, whatever it is. Even if I get a full time job at a tech company believe I will be humming tunes into my phone's recording app. (Although working retail last summer in NYC almost killed me, I was so exhausted at night that I didn't do much but watch tv, hmm, I need to make some changes if I want to finish this degree by Christmas)
On a quick random note, I've been reading this book my sister suggested about Astrology and it seems that my sign is super comfortable at home and it is hard for us to break away and we constantly do not feel like we are good enough and stay in comfy positions because we always want security and are afraid of risks. Is this just me? I thought this was everyone? But it def sounds like me. Yes I crave security over everything, I want a full time job so that I can save, and pay off all my loans so that I can breathe. But then will I ever really breathe? I feel like I've been saying that all my life. If I can do this, this, and that then I can breathe. But its never enough. So this year is truly the year of YOLO for my sister and I. I'm just doing it. Don't confuse my YOLO with impulsiveness. I don't think I could ever be impulsive. It's just not me. My YOLO is after careful consideration and reflection on my past choices and recognizing "hey, have I said, thought of this before? hey, did I tell myself last year that I should do this?) And then yes, let's "YOLO". (Yeah I used YOLO as a verb there.) This Europe trip is going to cost me an arm and a leg but I had carefully planned how I would finance it and when money should roll in to help pay these bills. My goal that I made last summer was to make it back to London, Scotland, and Italy, and I am doing just that. The book also mentioned that I am happiest when I making goals and putting in the steps to achieve them and that is absolutely correct. Every major step in my life, College, Studying abroad, BET, Grad School, England, was a goal that I said I was going to get and I did it. Sade/ Biggie Smalls says "Aint nothing to it but to do it." It seems the universe and Jesus have been looking out for me because I put it out there that this is what I want.
Well listen up again. I picture myself being a mogul. Maybe this is why I keep dreaming about Jay- Z?? But anyways, I will be a jack of all trades. I am such a drama queen that I could even act if I devoted some energy into it. An actress, music meets media tech entrprenuer, fashionista, film & tv composer, who takes photos and travels frequently. I want an Academy Award and a Grammy. My dad will be my date. I want to shop without looking at the price tag/ bank account just ONCE, buy my mother the white Benz she always wanted, and build a house with an attachment for my Daddy because he always asks me" You're not going to put me in a home are you?"
Where I will be living is a whole other story in itself. I love being American but I would love to live in another country for awhile. Preferably Europe. I love the old history and architecture, even the WW1 & 2 bombed eras still have more character and charm then most of America. Don't get it twisted, America is gorgeous and I still have to road trip it from Cali to NY(maybe graduation?), but its a different kind of beautiful. I would love to live preferably near lot's of trees but not a forest, and not too far from a major city. Yeah.
Yes I think this is possible. In time, with patience.
Until next time.
|Posted by Ashcwill17 on February 16, 2014 at 6:40 PM||comments (0)|
I suck at this blog thing.
It seems Feb is when I remember to get my life together and pay attention to this blog/ website.
I am half way through this Master's degree and it is kickng my butt. I am trying really hard not to get stressed out because this semester is my midpoint review! (Enter Sarcasm here).
I also am trying to move out of my current living place because....it's just not working for me. Le Sigh.
I am in the process of applying to this DOPE internship in LA and I hope to God, Jesus, and Mary that I get it. Even if it turns out to be the most horrible things ever, I want it. I want to know if this career is for me before I continue investing into it. I am trying to invest more into myself daily, by trying new things to see if, I actually like it.
It seems like everyone is my life is going through this transition. We are all trying to figure out what to do next. Right now, I am open to moving to anywhere in the world as long as I can survive and hopefully make some money and take pictures at the same time.
All I know is the Lord is with me, Every setback is a setup for a comeback, and I just want to be happy.
Until Next time....One Love.
|Posted by Ashcwill17 on February 16, 2013 at 6:05 PM||comments (0)|
This past Thursday was Valentine's day and it was a rollercoaster. I missed my boyfriend. But anyways, it was a Thursday, and I love Thursdays!
I have this awesome professor who talks to the class like we are having a simple one- on- one conversation. No reading a textbook with technical terms you don't understand or trying to figure out how many decibels would a clap be under 350 feet of salt water. Yes, yes, sounds special, and important, but I don't think anyone in my class wants to be a scientist of sound. It's only been 2 classes and I already learned so much. I'm protecting my eardrums and becoming more confident in the fact that I want to do EVERYTHING!
Everything about music excites me and intrigues me. The entertainment industry is where my heart is, touching people with whatever I decide to do. Working at BET was so life changing. I learned music licensing, I learned cue sheets, I watched the director work in the control room, I watched the technical director fix mics and the images on the screen. I saw the hosts prepare for a show; I saw how everyone is depending on another person to do their part in a timely fashion so things can run smoothly. We brainstormed, we ran errands, I spoke to publicists, a few artists and had a full conversation with Steve Harvey. He's amazing. I literally bumped into Beyonce.
I mean, it was an exciting time of up and downs, long 10 hour days, and traveling back and forth 2.5 hours to Albany once a week, every week. So yes, I literally took the train for an hour downtown then took the bus 2.5 hours, took a 20 min cab to sit in my 1.5 class and then took the 20 min cab back to the bus, wait for the bus and then take the 2.5 hour bus back to the city, then take the 2 different trains back to the Bronx and walk 15 minutes to my house, to wake up the next day and head back to a 10 hour day at BET. Yea, I didn't get out much.
When I look back at it, I am so amazed that I did all that. Where everyday I felt scared that I wasn't going to make it. It took a heavy toll on my body and I was sick for 2 whole months. Crazy.
Music is the only constant thing in my life and I want to keep it that way. Being around this television, music, and film industry is what I've been made for. I've found my purpose. I can honestly say that with clarity. And that for me is saying a lot.
|Posted by Ashcwill17 on February 1, 2013 at 1:50 PM||comments (0)|
Today I fly back to Cali, and the deadline for NYU and I am really nervous.
I am not ready to leave. I was finally happy and comfortable at home. I've been kicking butt to get this application finished and not all has gone as planned. I hope I get it, I hope I get in.
Got an email yesterday from my school now, that they have changed my schedule once again, Sigh. Got to find a new class.
I also need a job, just something to give me a little change for food. I don't think I could work at the Gap again because its not the holiday season they may not have space or money for me but we'll see.
Rushing not to forget anything but I am still here writing in this blog.
I feel like I need to write more, I don't now and its starting to make me feel better.
I envision my future and I'm slowly starting to see the next step.
|Posted by Ashcwill17 on January 8, 2013 at 9:00 AM||comments (0)|
I have recently experienced a wake up call.
In my last semester of college, I truly felt pressured and confused. I knew in my heart that I have a talent for music and it is what I should continue doing but I just couldnt place, what is the next step?
For the entire summer after graduation, I began looking for jobs in my field with no success. I was never qualified enough or I never heard back from anyone.
But, I was accepted into graduate school at the Academy of Art in San Francisco! A school for artists by artists. I just completed my first semester and it was a whirlwind! Lots of good days and lots of bad days. I think my major problem was that I am too far from home, NYC.
But, I read somewhere this one quote. I have heard it before but never did it make more sense then it did that day. "Not all those who wander are lost." And this quote has truly made all the difference.
I came home for Christmas and fell in love. I am applying to NYU to continue this degree and to make more connections in my beautiful city. It took me some time to realize, but there's no place like home.